my last real post was in September & I’ve been missing Tumblr a lot lately & i feel like i’ve missed so much, that there’s no catching up. My life keeps living & moving & I think I keep growing. So i keep on with my life while accidentally pulling away from the lovely, inspirational abyss that is my dear internet friend, Tumblr for no other reason than lack of time.
School last semester was inspiring & tumultuous & depressing & enlightening & happening & drab, but i honestly feel like it completely changed the course of my life as it was previously headed. I ended up (finally) passing my drawing class. Third time is indeed a charm. By letting go of all prior terrible life experiences & having a professor that deeply cared for not only the education of her students, but their lives, i found the encouragement & push i needed to convince me that giving up would be letting myself down because whether i believe it or not, i have talent when i work on learning & applying skills.
Walking into last semester i had already decided that i would plan on graduating not only with a fine arts degree, but an education degree. In making this decision, i was obligated to take an Intro To Education class in which we were required to tutor (or assist) a student or group of students for 15 hours. Being an art/ed major, i was placed into a program in Youngstown called SMARTS (Students Motivated by the Arts)- a non-profit organization that teaches K-12 students music, dance, theatre & art for free. By tutoring & volunteering & loving every second of it, i was asked to take part in an art committee that would help the director & the coordinator come up with projects for the classes & activities we do in town to promote SMARTS. (We are currently undertaking an education project to bring the community into the reconstruction process of the neglected Paramount Theatre downtown.) In addition to the art committee, I was offered a job instructing one of the art classes. These are all small things that are just adding up to be huge, important details.
In addition to school & tutoring, I am still dating Mike. I’m going to be completely honest, the honeymoon phase has dissipated & we are settling in to one another. We had a lovely start. We fell head over heals for one another & it was perfection & passionate & dramatic & lovely, and here we are, a year later. Over the course of a year, we have forgiven each other of mistakes & little heartbreaks that arise when ones expectations meet reality but i honestly feel that we are still in love. Its an unconditional love that binds us together. Mike is my partner in life. Some days are wonderful & some days are terrible. And if you’re reading this & you’re someone that truly believes that love or relationships shouldn’t be hard work, might i just mention something: i love my boyfriend & we are making it work although we are dealing with the rigors of human relationships in general, previous expectations of love, the media’s imprint of ideal romance, financial strain & the stress of making a blended family work, we are also in a daily battle with Mike’s bipolar disorder. And it is hard. Some days its almost unbearable, but most days we are funny & we laugh & I forget about the disorder. We are learning from our experiences together & growing into a stronger partnership. Our relationship is our own & I honestly love every second of it.
This year i’ve learned a lot about life & myself. I’ve learned that the doors to personal success sometimes just randomly open but only if you are qualified to receive these monumental life happenings. I’ve learned that I can love another human being as unconditionally as i love my children & with as much dedication as i have to myself. I’ve learned that friends of convenience are quite possibly the best friends i could ever have in my entire life. I’ve confirmed that it is good to always be who i am & never stop speaking my mind because the people who keep listening, at least enough to speak up & tell me when i am wrong, are the people i always want to have in my life. I’ve learned that life is so much easier with a partner that i respect & truly know due to time/experiences shared. I’ve remembered to rely on myself because thats my only guarantee but i’ve learned that if i have the right people by my side in life, i can also give up a little power/control & rely on them. I’ve learned that i look adorable with short hair but i miss long hair & sometimes it is necessary to shorn ones locks after a tragedy in an attempt to grow from extremely crappy experiences as my hair grows. & i’ve learned that 2011 was the year that my entire life changed for the better.
For those of you that read this entire post (or even just skimmed to the bottom), I have seriously missed you all & i hope you had a lovely holiday & have a wonderful new year.
cheers, folks!
& if you seriously miss me, add me on twitter, its pretty much the only social network/internet i have time for anymore: HelloSweetOwl
<3
